It’s been a week around here and I’m finally in the bath reflecting. Got yelled at at work, cried, got caught crying, felt stupid. And that was just the tip of it all.
I used up all my bubble bath Sunday and now realize I need to keep a stash on hand at all times. After work I visited two stores and both were out of bubble bath, so now I’m sitting here in the tub filled with lavender epson salts. Why didn’t anyone tell me I would enjoy them so much?! My legs feel weightless and it reconfirms my need to get to a float spa ASAP. Will be making plans.
But let’s get back to my feelings. After Sunday’s breakdown (and today’s) my mind is clearly working through some things. Last night I had a weird dream. Maybe a metaphor dream?
I found a frozen mouse and befriended it’s lifeless body. I stashed him in my purse and carried him everywhere. I went on to walk in a charity 5k thingy and kept my new friend safely tucked away in my bag.
A few miles in I felt some movement. I peeked in as saw he was thawing but still motionless. Another mile closer to the finish line and he was for sure now alive. My friend!!!
It was now nighttime and I scooted away to release my friend. I knew I couldn’t keep him. We both looked at each other and he ran into the grass. Bye forever little buddy. I’ll never forget you.
Now I didn’t think much more of this dream until I was walking to work this morning and it all came rushing into my mind. Was it a metaphor maybe? For the guy from last week that has a girlfriend? The mouse was tucked in the same purse I was wearing that night. One that I love but clearly has never entered my dreams. Could it mean that we are done done? Like flirting is now over?
Ugh. I need more wine. Thankfully I brought in the bottle.
Tub tracker stats:
- 60 minutes and counting
- Two glasses of wine so far
- Chill playlist
- No dating app swiping yet, but maybe?
the bad hag 